Thoughts.......

So today I was thinking about what the future holds.... this can be a very dangerous thing to do! I try not to make expectations of anything, because chances are they will not come true and I am setting myself up for disappointment. But like it or not, I am a constant expectaion-maker. But as I searched my mind about my future, I realized that my expectations didn't run very deep, they are mostly created to impact my very-near future, like weeks or maybe even months if I count the big events.
Most of you know that I am planning on marrying The Love of My Life this April. And you also know that Brent has SMA. Sometimes my future for him scares me.... scares me cold.... But I know that I love him with all that I am and I would not give up one day of loving him anyother way than the way that God made him. Having said all of that, I cannot help but think of some of the uncertainties of my future.....OUR future.
Our relstionship has never carried the "traditional roles" that usually apply. And we have had to be creative with how we do things, but there is so much that remains grey. I know that he loves me and I him, that we can accomplish anythng because God is our Commander in Chief.
Will we ever be able to rise above our current financial state? Will we ever be able to expand our family and have children? If we do, will they have SMA too? Am I strong enough to handle that?
Well we know for sure that Brent has the SMA gene (duh) I just need to get tested to see if I am a carrier and we can take it from there (lets put the horse back in fromt of the buggy).
Dear Lord, light my path and the way you want me to go, still my mind and comfort my thoughts. Strengthen my faith & trust in You in all of the areas of my life.